Transformers Huminated: Survival of the Fittest
by TheWeasel027
Summary: Sari goes missing, and the Dinobots are suspected. Prowl and Bulkhead investigate the disappearance with Captain Fanzone hot on their trail.
1. Swept Away

"Hee YAH!" Sari jumped and kicked with all her might. Prowl caught her by the boot and pushed the kick away.

"Sari," Prowl sighed, "You need to concentrate."

"Give her a break Prowl," Bulkhead helped Sari get back on her feet, "She's just a kid."

"I'm afraid Prowl's right," Optimus agreed, "As protector of the key she has to learn to protect herself. She's a potential target for the Decepticons."

"And we won't always be there to protect you," Prowl said, "Now try again. And this time, thrust with your legs like so." Prowl gave a strong kick to the air.

"Gotcha!" Sari jumped and kicked right past Prowl and hit Bulkhead in the knee. Sari landed on her bottom. Bulkhead looked down and realized that Sari had hit him in the knee. He jumped on one leg and grabbed his leg faking painful howls. He fell causing several boxes to land on top of him.

"Too much?" he asked.

****************************************************************

"Yah! Ha! Hiya! Keeyah!" Sari cried as she punched and kicked imaginary bad guys, "Take that Decepticreeps!" She looked at her reflection in the window, "I'll deal with you in the morning. _Punk_." She yawned and hopped in bed. Before she could close her eyes, a shadow flew past the room. She gasped and jumped up. She crept to her window and peered out. A tall silhouette stood before her. It reached out and shattered the window.

***************************************************************

Isaac Sumdac knocked on Sari's door. He had made a fresh batch of milk and cookies. Sari didn't answer. Sumdac cracked the door open a bit and looked inside. Sari wasn't in bed. He opened the door fully. Sari was gone, and the window was shattered…

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"Ratchet! Bulkhead! Bumblebee! Prowl!" Optimus woke everyone up, "Isaac Sumdac just called. Sari is missing!"

***************************************************************

"_We're looking all over for the girl captain. We got cars on the streets. We got minisubs in the river and lake. And we're questioning the father now, but he says he didn't see anything,"_ the officer said.

"Well keep looking through the girl's room. I'll look through the security vids," Fanzone said, "Oh wait, I've got another call." He pressed some keys. "This is Fanzone."

"_still me captain."_

"Oh, hold on." He pressed in some more keys. "Fanzone here."

"_Still me."_

"Ugh. Hold on." More keys. "Yo. Fanzone."

"_Uh, hi Mr. Fanzone. Nah I'm just kiddin. Still me."_

"I hate you." Keys. "Fanzone."

"_Nope."_ Fanzone pressed the keys madly and banged on the phone. It shot out sparks.

"This is why I hate machines!" Fanzone growled into the phone.

"No need to be such a technophobe captain," Prowl said. Fanzone looked up and saw the Autobots standing behind him.

"A technophobe is one who _fears_ machines," Fanzone corrected, "Does _this_ look LIKE FEAR TO YOU?!" Fanzone slammed the phone onto the ground.

"My mistake," Prowl muttered.

"Any news on Sari?" Optimus asked.

"Sumdac says she spent the day with you guys. Anything outta the ordinary happen?"

"No just the usual stuff," Bulkhead remembered, "Hanging out. Teaching her ninja nerve blows. Watching cartoons."

"Wait a sec! back up! What was that?"

"Watching cartoons."

"No before that."

"Ninja nerve blows."

"You were teaching an eight-year-old to do nerve blows?"

"You'd rather she pick it up on the streets?" Ratchet asked.

"After all it's not like we're having her fight Decepticons," Bulkhead said.

"Yet," Prowl finished.

"So you don't think that hanging out with Autobots is kinda dangerous?" Fanzone shrugged.

"Define dangerous," Bulkhead said. Just then, a figure shot past the security vid.

"Wait a sec! roll that back!" Optimus pointed at the screen.

"Sho thing doll face," the reception-bot said. The video rewound. Optimus could make out the shadow.

"Is that a Dinobot?"

"Those fire-breathing cavemen?" Ratchet asked.

"We never did find out what happened to them."

"You think we should tell em?" Bulkhead whispered to Prowl.

"What? That we took the Dinobots and moved them to an island in the middle of Lake Erie and never bothered to mention it to him?"

"But Sari could be in trouble."

"This is my responsibility. I'll go to Dinobots Island and help Sari."

"Oh no, I'm going with you."

"Fine, we'll head to Dinobots island after dark."

"Uh, no signs of anything in the room captain," a police officer said to Fanzone.

"That's okay," Fanzone replied, "I've got a lead. And I'm gonna follow this one _on my own_."


	2. Where's Sari?

The shuriken cut through the chains then returned to Prowl. The boat started to float away. And just a short distance away, a periscope was watching them.

"I don't know what you guys are up to, but I'm sure gonna find out," Fanzone monitored Prowl and Bulkhead from the minisub. Bulkhead's gaze started to wander his way. "Uh oh. down periscope." Fanzone pulled a switch. A small red light started flashing. Fanzone looked in horror at the words "Hatch Open" on the screen. Water started seeping in through the ceiling as the hatch slid open.

"This is why I hate machi—blubl blurb blub!"

*******************************************************************

"I just don't understand why the Dinobots would want to kidnap Sari," Prowl thought, "They've only ever wanted to be left in peace."

"When I get through with em, they'll be left in _pieces_!" Bulkhead cracked his knuckles.

"Now let's not jump to conclusions. Wait a second," Prowl looked down at the ground. Several tracks could be plainly seen.

"Tracks?"

"Yes, but not the Dinobots'. There's someone else on this island."

********************************************************************

The minisub burst out of the water and landed on the beach. Fanzone crawled out of the sub. He laid down on his back. A fish's tail slapped his chin. He pulled it out of his shirt and flicked it back into the water.

*********************************************************************

"We never should've let those Dinobots loose," Bulkhead said, "What if someone finds em here?" Prowl deactivated the holo-cube. The canopy over the caldera disappeared.

"That doesn't seem to be a problem at the moment," Prowl stared down into the caldera. The Dinobots were nowhere to be seen.

"They're gone?"

*********************************************************************

"Our visitors seem lost," Meltdown sneered. He turned away from the screen to the Dinobots. "Perhaps, we should give them _a hand_." Grimlock growled in response.

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"No Sari _and_ no Dinobots?!" Bulkhead stomped his foot, "We should've let Sumdac put em in cryo like he wanted to!"

"They may not've been born like you or I, but they are life. And just like any other life they have the right to choose for themselves. We _had_ to save them," Prowl lectured.

"So who's gonna save Sari?" Bulkhead and Prowl started to climb out of the caldera. Fanzone followed them a mere twenty feet behind. Bulkhead accidentally caused a log to roll down the hill right at Fanzone. Fanzone tried to move out of the way and stumbled down the hill.

**********************************************************************

"I told you they'd come for me," Sari sneered, "And you're gonna be in sooo much trouble."

"Just say the word and I'll pummel em to a pulp," Cyrus Rhodes said.

"Not yet my dear friend. I have other plans for our visitors," Meltdown said.

"Doesn't matter. You guys might as well go ahead and get measured for your orange jump suits. Hope you like prison food," Sari laughed. Rhodes looked at her and growled. Sari growled back. Rhodes did a louder growl. Sari returned it. Rhodes activated his steroids and grew huge then roared.

"Okay, you win," Sari peeped.

********************************************************************

"Watch out for that quicksand," Prowl advised.

"Yeah, I see it," Bulkhead nodded, "You'd have to be some kind of idiot to get caught in that." Just then they heard a splat.

"Help!"

"That sounded like Captain Fanzone," Prowl gasped.

"Yeah! I do a really good impression of myself SCREAMING FOR HELP!" Fanzone panicked.

"What are you doing in there?" Bulkhead asked.

"Sinking! Get me out!" Bulkhead launched his wrecking ball. It landed in between two trees. Fanzone grabbed the cable and used it to inch his way out.

"Why are you following us?" Prowl asked.

"I'll ask the questions here," Fanzone said, "Starting with what are you two doing on an abandoned island research facility in the middle of Lake Erie?"

*********************************************************************

"I suppose I should go and wait for our guests to arrive," Meltdown walked out of the room, "Make sure our guest remains _comfortable_."

"Looks like your friends are toast!" Rhodes laughed, "Whatcha gotta say for yourself now?"

"I gotta go potty," Sari said.

"Again?"

"I'm a little girl, that's what I do."

*****************************************************************

"And what's this place gotta do with the girl's vanishing act anyway? You guys know something and you're gonna tell me. Else I'll find out myself," Fanzone poked a finger in Bulkhead's chest.

"Can't think of anything," Bulkhead put a finger to his lip, "Kay, maybe that." Bulkhead pointed ahead. Fanzone looked and gasped at the three Dinobots standing before them.

"Anyone wanna tell me what _they're_ doing here?" Fanzone gulped.

"Just remain still," Prowl said, "Let me deal with them. They trust me. It's alright. It's me Prowl. The one who brought you here."

"Intruders! Me Grimlock destroy!" Grimlock shouted. Swoop jumped into the air and slashed at Prowl. Bulkhead pushed him out of the way and wrestled with Swoop.

"So much for trust!" Bulkhead punched Swoop in the jaw.

"But I don't understand," Prowl stuttered.

"Seems pretty straight forward to me!" Bulkhead smacked Grimlock in the face with his wrecking ball before he could use his fire on Fanzone, "The Dinobots kidnapped Sari, and now they're trying to destroy us!"

"Grimlock! Stop! Why are you doing this?!" Prowl swept Fanzone away and into the air before Snarl's fire breath could fry him.

"They're doing it because they're mean and dumb, and we shoulda _never_ helped them escape!" Bulkhead picked up a log and smashed it into Grimlock and Snarl. He pulled on a small tree and caused it to collapse on the two Dinobots.

"You helped them escape?!" Fanzone gasped. Swoop struck Prowl in the back causing him to drop Fanzone. Fanzone grabbed onto Prowl's leg. Prowl caught Swoop's wrist before he could claw at his eyes.

"Acid burns?" Prowl gasped when he saw the burns on Swoop's arm, "Is someone making you do this?"

"Tell us where Sari is! NOW!" Bulkhead threw a log at Swoop. Prowl dropped down from the air. Snarl charged at where they would land. Prowl grabbed Fanzone and pounced off of Snarl's head causing him to smash his head into a tree. The bark cracked. Prowl and Fanzone ran off followed by Bulkhead.

"Destroy intruder!" Grimlock burst out from under the tree. The Dinobots chased after Prowl, Bulkhead, and Fanzone. They went into a canyon and stopped at a dead end.

"We're trapped," Bulkhead observed.

"Such an excellent assessment," Meltdown said from the top of the cliff.

"Prometheus Black?" Fanzone gasped.

"The name is Meltdown!"

"What do you have to do with this?"

"Everything. He was the one controlling the Dinobots and forced them to steal Sari!" Prowl explained, "I _saw_ the acid burns."

"Ah yes, the Dinobots have learned to respect my touch."

"Me Grimlock sorry," Grimlock said, "Him Meltdown hurt Dinobots."

"They serve as effective if overqualified watchdogs. It was quite a challenge finding a hiding place with its own security. And just when I needed some privacy for some _unique experiments_."

"Tell us where Sari is! What have you done with her?!" Bulkhead prepared his wrecking ball.

"I assure you the girl lives. After all, I can't have her _dead_ for my experimentation. _Yet_."

"You miserable—!" Bulkhead launched his wrecking ball. Meltdown laughed and fired a beam of acid. The acid hit Bulkhead in the shoulder. Bulkhead howled in pain and collapsed. Prowl and Fanzone ran to his aid, but a trap door activated and sent them plummeting into darkness…


	3. Meltdown's Lab

"Prowl," Fanzone shook Prowl's shoulder, "Prowl you okay? Come on Prowl wake up." Prowl jumped awake.

"The fall…it must've…Bulkhead! Where's Bulkhead?!"

"He's still topside. Meltdown's got us in some kind of holding bin." Prowl looked around at the coliseum-like room.

"We have to find Sari and get her to Bulkhead. That blast from Meltdown almost killed him, and Sari's key is the only thing that might save him!"

"Yeah, but these walls are military grade steel. And those lasers?" Fanzone pointed at the only exit, blocked off by a laser grid, "Well good luck getting through that."

"We _must_ get to Bulkhead." Prowl threw a shuriken at the grid, but it sliced the star into pieces.

"I'm afraid you're friend will have to wait," Meltdown appeared on the balcony above the exit.

"Meltdown! Tell us where Sari is. Why did you take her?!" Prowl questioned.

"I suppose it _is_ time for the villain's monologue isn't it? Well, I had a lot of time to think during my conviction. And during that time, I monitored the news. I was amazed by the powers of the Dinobots. Humans with the power to breathe fire?! Skin impervious to _boiling_ tar?! It was astonishing! But when I saw the news of that woman with the powers of a spider, I found it beautiful. It sparked _an epiphany_. What if I could instill the prowess of the animal kingdom into a human?"

"Lemme get this straight. You wanna make a bunch of mutants?" Fanzone accused.

"Not mutants. Metahumans. A person who can use the powers and abilities of any animal they choose. Though sadly my more recent experiments have been somewhat…_less_ than successful. The one on the left is—uh—_was_ my lawyer." Two disfigured shadows appeared behind the laser grid. They stepped into the light. One was a blend of various aquatic creatures while the second was mainly bat.

"But then, I had an idea! All this time I'd been using adult test subjects. I needed one who was still _growing_."

"Sari," Prowl gasped.

"And whoelse than the daughter of my arch nemesis, the _bane_ of my existence, the simpering fool who is unworthy to lick the mud off the heels of my platform shoes—booga-looga-looga-looz—" Meltdown did a small dance, "Professor ISAAC SUMDAC?! Poetic, no?"

"Poetic," Fanzone clenched his fist, "is not the first word to come to mind. You are one seriously twisted fruit cake!"

"Flattery gets you nowhere captain," Meltdown deactivated the grid, "And shortly I will change the young Sumdac into a metahuman, or if the plan fails, one of them. Meanwhile, enjoy your playmates." Meltdown walked away and left his mutants, Fanzone, and Prowl alone.

"Get back here you sicko!" Fanzone shook a fist, "This is cruel and unusual punishment!"

"At least we're able to defend ourselves. I shudder to think of what horrors Sari is going through right now," Prowl said.

*******************************************************************

"This is torture!" Rhodes banged on the door, "How many times does a stupid kid need to go to the bathroom?! What are ya doing in there?!"

"Trust me, you don't wanna know," Sari searched the bathroom for some way of escape. She then noticed a key slot on the toilet. She opened the door. "Hey, can you come in for a sec. there's something wrong with the toilet."

"Did you try jiggling the handle?" Rhodes walked in and leaned over the toilet. Sari pushed her key into the slot. "Hey wait a sec, there's nothing in—YAH!" The toilet shot out huge amounts of water in Rhodes' face.

*******************************************************************

"Dibs on leftie," Fanzone looked at the bat monster, "I hate lawyers." Prowl jumped and kicked the shark-man in the face. "This is for Sari!" Fanzone punched the bat-man in the jaw.

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"You little punk!" Rhodes lunged at Sari, but she tripped him. He fell with a thud, and Sari ran out the door and shut it. Rhodes tried to use the steroid pods, but they wouldn't work. "Hey! You shorted out my electro-thingies! I can't bulk up!" Sari locked the door and ran away.

*******************************************************************

The bat monster cornered Fanzone. Prowl ran on the wall and lunged at the bat. Then, the mutants backed Prowl and Fanzone against the lasers which deactivated.

"How'd that happen?" Fanzone asked.

********************************************************************

Sari inserted her key into the circuit board. Lights all over the facility flickered.

*******************************************************************

"Hold on! And kick your legs out!" Prowl grabbed Fanzone's wrists and spun. Fanzone kicked at the mutants and knocked them out. The two then ran out as fast as they could.

"Hey guys! Over here!" Sari jumped up.

"Sari! You're alright!" Prowl gasped.

"You know Prowl. I won't always be there to protect you." Prowl smiled.

"Sari, Bulkhead is down. he needs your key."

"This way," Sari pointed, "It's the way they brought me in." Sari led them through the corridor but Fanzone stopped. He pulled one of Meltdown's suits off of a hanger.

"Protective suit. Could come in handy," Fanzone predicted.

"There! The exit!" Sari exclaimed. A blast door started to lower. Prowl activated his jump-jets, grabbed Fanzone and Sari, and flew out from under the door just as it closed. Prowl looked around and saw Bulkhead still lying on the ground.

"Bulkhead," he ran over, "Sari, you're key." Sari nodded and pushed her key into Bulkhead's chest. The burn on Bulkhead's shoulder disappeared and the bleeding ended.

"Sari?" Bulkhead awoke, "You're okay. I found you. How'd I do that?"

"You're the best," Sari giggled.

"How touching!" Meltdown appeared with the Dinobots right behind him, "I do love happy family reunions. It melts the heart. Along with other body parts!" Sari jumped up and kicked at him, but missed and landed right behind him. "And what was that supposed to be?" Prowl's kick was much more effective and hit Meltdown in the back, knocking him to the ground.

"Duh, it's called a distraction," Sari grinned. Fanzone jumped on Meltdown and wrapped him in the suit.

"Guh! Dinobots! Attack!" Meltdown ordered. The Dinobots moved forward.

"Wait!" Prowl held up a hand, "You don't have to do what he says anymore! Look at him. He has no power now. He cannot hurt you."

"Meltdown not hurt Dinobots. Dinobots _hurt Meltdown_," Grimlock snarled. Grimlock held out his arm. A bulge grew in his palm. The bone sword burst out. Swoop's spine poked out. He yanked out the bone flail. Snarl pulled a bone club out of his elbow.

"What?" Fanzone gasped.

"Woah," Sari gasped.

"Uhh, they couldn't do that before," Bulkhead said, "Right?"

"No! no! stop! Keep them away from me!" Meltdown pleaded.

"Your choice Meltdown. Prison? Or do we leave you to your slaves?" Prowl asked. The Dinobots approached. To show off, Grimlock slashed a tree in half with the sword; Snarl tapped his club against the ground; Swoop smashed a rock with his flail.

"Get away! Get away! Away! AWAY!" Meltdown pleaded. The blast door was ripped down by Rhodes who had grown into his Colossus alter-ego. The mutants stood behind him. The Dinobots' turned and ignited their skeletal weapons. The Dinobots walked over to the three who backed away in fear.

"You in _biiig_ trouble," Grimlock growled.

***********************************************************************

"Yup, got em both Mr. Sumdac," Fanzone said on the phone, "and we found Sari too so don't you—gah!" Fanzone shrieked when the phone sparked in his ear. He accidentally threw the phone off the boat and into the water. "Yeah! Uh, I'll call you later! Oh my phone bill's gonna be huge."

"So, now that Sari and Fanzone know, you think we should tell Prime about the Dinobots?" Bulkhead asked.

"Perhaps," Prowl nodded, "But what will become of them?"

"As long as they stay outta my city I don't got a problem with em," Fanzone winked.

"Thank you. And thank you for your help on the island."

"Eh don't mention it."

"Hey guys! I've definitely got it this time!" Sari cheered. She jumped up and kicked Bulkhead in the knee. Bulkhead waited a second and clenched his knee. He bounced on one leg and accidentally fell down an open shaft.

"I'm good!" he proclaimed.

"I still ain't so sure about teaching ninja moves to eight-year-olds," Fanzone crossed his arms.

"Perhaps you're right. It seems Sari is capable of taking care of herself. In her own unique way."


End file.
